We will never forget you!

I’ve been struggling the last few weeks….just not feeling myself. I’m just sad! I know it’s okay to feel sad, my son died how could I not feel sad? As time is going by I just miss Andrew so much! I feel so empty inside and I crave to hug my son and it hurts so bad! I feel like I’m living someone else’s life….this can’t really be happening? When is this going to end and I’ll get my life back? I just want people to remember my son! He existed and mattered and it’s so important for me to keep his memory alive as long as I’m alive!

It was Mother’s Day a few days ago and I was touched by how many people reached out to me to let me know they were thinking of me and Andrew. It really made me feel so loved and I appreciated everyone’s thoughtfulness and kindness!

Also, the boys who were in Andrew’s paint shop at Williamson all signed his paint helmet and dropped it off at my house last week and wrote us a note. We were very grateful they gave it to us. Another friend from my work came over and made us a beautiful 76ers throw blanket which was so very sweet of her! We only worked together for a short time and she went out of her way to make that for us and bring it over my house. I also received a few cards in the mail just to let me know I was being thought of and it all has meant so much to me! Every time someone goes out of their way to let me know me and my family are in their thoughts and prayers, it touches my heart and let’s me know what a beautiful world we live in! We are surrounded by goodness!

I don’t know why this happened to my family….why did Andrew have to die? Life is unfair and cruel sometimes….but it is also kind and loving! When I’m feeling so down and so sad someone will reach out to me and say something so thoughful or show me kindness in some way and I think to myself….We are going to be okay! We are going to survive and make it because we aren’t alone! People lift us up and carry us when we need them to! I definitely feel blessed to have such a huge support system who love my family and let us know it! Not feeling alone is a precious gift we have received throughout this tragic loss!

In my opinion, losing a child is the absolute worst thing that can happen to a parent. It’s just not supposed to be this way! It changes you as a person and the pain is constant and the void is huge! We try to get up and do as much living as we can. We try to laugh and feel joy but it’s just not as easy as it used to be. I’m grateful I have my wonderful husband and 2 awesome children plus my 2 puppies. They all give me reasons to smile and laugh and I wouldn’t be able to survive without them! I look at my other two kids and I’m so proud of how they have handled losing their brother and seeing their parents suffer. They have their own pain and are also empathetic to Mike and my pain too. They know when I need a hug or just to chit chat in bed. They also know when to be silly and make me laugh or when to talk about Andrew and share our memories of him! I love to talk about Andrew! I don’t ever want to pretend he didn’t exist! He is my son and lived a short life but he touched so many lives….he made a difference and I don’t ever want that forgotten!

Writing this blog helps me to share my feelings honestly and connect with other people who also have a painful journey of their own! I’m an open book and I need people and connections to feel better and heal! Communication is a huge part of my being so I can’t just become a hermit I would waste away & die! I appreciate everyone reading this and sharing feedback. Please subscribe if you want to continue to read and follow me. You’re all a blessing in my life and I thank you!

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My name is Melissa Shelly and I am a 46 year old mom who lives in Newtown Square, PA. I never thought of myself as mighty but when my 14 year old son, Michael was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer on August 18, 2014, everyone kept telling me how strong I was. Three years later on August 12, 2017, my 20 year old son, Andrew died instantly in a car accident. Again, people kept saying I was so strong and I actually hated when people would say that to me! I have heard 100 times “I could never do what you’re doing....if my child died I wouldn’t be able to function!”. That’s what I thought about myself until it was me! I didn’t ask to be handed these tragedies & painful traumatic events and I never felt I had a choice....I had to be a mighty leader!! I am a mother of three children and a wife to a wonderful man. We needed to survive and keep hope alive in our hearts! I wish I never had to be strong....but unfortunately we don’t control many things in our lives; however, we can control how we deal with them. It isn’t easy and I have some really bad days but I continue to work on healing and living my life with meaning and purpose. I want to share my pain and my successes with anyone who wants to walk beside me!

9 thoughts on “We will never forget you!”

  1. Mother’s Day, a Sunday to remember being a mom and the sheer joy of it. Now pain accompanies that day and storm clouds not far away.

    You are the sunshine for so many, Melissa, and we hurt with you in your loss of Handsome Andrew. We laugh along with your your daughter and husband and your Michael singing every single word to a fifteen minute song like a rock star!

    We hold you in our hearts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Melissa you touch my heart everyday with your posts and now your blog! Think and pray for you all everyday and so thankful God brought you into my life! Hugs and prayers! #JesusHasThis 💕❤️😘🙏🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. We will never forget Andrew….
      I had a memory yesterday of the time you all were visiting us & sitting on the deck. I brought out a hot Chile dip & while we were all talking, Andrew ate the entire dip! It made me laugh.
      The following year, I made two dishes…so he could have his own. He could really make me smile..and he is still making me smile when I think of that night.
      Love you all!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m crying tears of joy reading this. Andrew would totally do that!! Melissa and I love hearing stories of Andrew and his beautiful quirkiness.


  3. I miss his infectious laugh,
    I miss his comforting hugs,
    I miss his intriguing & serious conversations,
    I miss his beautiful smile.
    I miss Andrew so very much & there’s not a day that goes buy that I don’t talk to him & wonder why. There are no answers. I have to wait until I will see again in heaven.
    I watch my daughter & family suffer through daily life having to deal with this huge loss in their hearts. It’s so hard. No one really knows the depth of the hurt of losing a child. I think To myself “What could I have done to change this?” There are no answers. It’s hard to keep living but we have to endure & live though our loved ones. I’ll They have been and are my saving grace. Love you all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So true. I know. You know. And Melissa’s Family knows. It’s heartbreaking
      I’m always here for you


  4. As painful as it is for you to go through losing Andrew, your blogs inspire me to remember what is important in life. Thank you for sharing your soul. God bless all of you.


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